Baby Beel's First Words
by dragon's nest
Summary: Completed. At a peaceful Sunday morning, our certain brown haired 'father' had somehow found that Baby Beel improved his baby talk! However, unlike the blonde haired wet nurse, he didn't like it that much. How will Baby Beel cope with his arguing 'parents? [1/1]


**A/N: AU(ish) fic, set in a world of delinquents and babies. Watch out!**

**Disclaimer: Beelzebub will always belong to the respective owner(s).**

* * *

It was such a dazzling day or a normal, hectic day you might say. Today was supposed to be a weekend-it's SUNDAY, to be frankly. Oh, you don't know what is Sunday? Shame on you! It's the day where everyone-hell yeah!-get rest from their daily activities. Everyone supposed to get rest today, but why, on this SUNDAY morning, that three persons, mind you, two of them were in bitchy moods, as in, VERY bitchy, were here?

At least, that shitty long monologue (or damn paragraph or trash prologue) was contemplating in Furuichi's brain. He sighed in defeat before stating the obvious, "Then? Why are you here? I don't mind Hilda, but you, Oga, had ruined my perfect chance of a normal, peace SUNDAY!"

Hilda gave him her infamous deathly stare and as usual, the white haired self-proclaimed playboy's guts had ceased down. "Would you please get out from this room?"

_'IT'S MY ROOM TO BEGIN WITH!'_ That thought ran crazy in his mind. He gulped and looked at Oga, who unfortunately, didn't even look either at him or her. Even though Furuichi wasn't considered as smart as normal teenager-well, apart from his corrupted minds-he at least, knew that was something involved Baby Beel. Well, who didn't know Hilda's love for Baby Beel?

Furuichi looked at Oga who somehow had cookies on his hand and ate it with his usual care-less emotion, God knows where he got that!, "T-Then, Oga, would you like to explain some damn things to me?"

"Shut your mouth, Creepichi. I'm eating." Oga looked care-less about his friend (or underling, even if the said one's definitely object)'s uneasiness and tense situation. He calmly ate another cookie and read a manga on his hand.

A vein popped up at Furuichi's head. _'THEN, WHY ARE YOU GUYS HEREEE?'_ He wanted to shout the whole sentence, but couldn't, unfortunately. Though, from sideline, Furuichi could saw that he was also, mad. Hell knew what made him turned like that. It seemed like he was about to punch everyone, correction, every damn thing, who made his blood boiled for such apparent reason.

"T-Then, Beel, can you please explain what's going on here?" Furuichi looked at Baby Beel who was the only one in that room, aside Furuichi, wasn't throwing tantrum at the poor pedophile.

However, that silver haired guy was indeed fool. "Daabuuh?" What did he expect by him to answer? He was just 9 months baby from hell, well, forget about 'from hell'-he was still a baby, even though his growth is somehow faster, from other normal children.

_'WHERE THE HELL IS JUSTICE?'_ Furuichi hit his head at damn brick wall as was saying how stupid he was. Then suddenly, Furuichi's shirt was tugged on. It was Baby Beel. "What's wrong Beel?" The baby just looked at his eyes while Furuichi was saying nonsense, "I know you're gonna say that I'm stupid or damn idiot for asking you, a normal baby of 9 months, the situation, but if you please not give me your pitiful stare because you know I'm feeling OUT of here, as in, VERY OUT. I understand-"

"Daaache?" Baby Beel suddenly pointed his delicate finger to Furuichi as Helda and Oga stopped their activities, "Dabuh! Rippiiiichi!"

Furuichi suddenly looked at both Oga and Helda who suddenly looked tense. He himself, felt like a déja vu, "W-What? B-Beel, w-what did you say?"

"Rippiiichiii! Daaache!" Baby Beel tugged Furuichi's shirt and pointed him to do horsey, "Daabuh!"

Furuichi jolted of humiliation, "W-What? You're asking me-"

"Furuichi, horsey." Oga looked at Furuichi's eyes. Who would reject the command from the king of hell? At least, Furuichi was damn idiot enough to reject his order.

Furuichi sighed in defeat, "Okay! But you guys had to tell me what's going on!"

Hilda closed her eyes and said, "Don't order me around, creepy douche."

"Daaachee!" Baby Beel looked happier as ever of being able to repeat what his 'mother', or his personal wet nurse to be exact, saying.

Furuichi sweat dropped and sighed, "I know now the meaning of 'daache' and 'rippichi'." His statement was, in fact, turning into a bluff that Oga and Hilda ignored him and continued their activities.

"HEY! YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WILL ANSWER MY DAMN EVERY QUESTION!"

"Who promised you to do that,

Creepichi?"

Creepy douché?"

"Riipichiiiiii! Daaachee!"

What a damn morning you got, Furuichi. At least, he was sure to get out of here quick after he had stopped being a horsey, that's for sure. Well, it all happened about around 3 hours ago.

* * *

"Master, good morning!" Hilda cheerfully greeted her Master, Kaiser Emperana Beelzebub IV, while he and his human contractor, the child-rearing badass, Oga Tatsumi was walking to the dining room. Hilda herself was in the middle of preparing things for breakfast with Oga's mother. Misaki was watching news with her father while discussing things.

Oga's mother looked at his son and 'grandson', "Oh, it's rare to see you up this soon, Tatsumi! I wonder if today's going to rain."

"Ha! Maybe one of his nails lost?" His sister, Misaki, was laughing all the way.

"Misaki, don't laugh at your pathetic brother." Oga's father commented.

"HELL YEAH! You're the ONE harrasing me, though old man!" Oga protested at their remarks, "It's Baby Beel-"

"What about master?" Hilda cut his remark and looked at his side in question.

"Shit, if it is Baby Beel-"

Hilda looked menacingly as her infamous death glare pierced through his brown eyes, "Language, **Tatsumi.** I'd prefer you to stop saying... imprudent words. It will affect Master's growth."

The rest of the family was just watching the scene at the sideline. Oga flinched and shouted in defense, "Hel-" before he saw the Blonde Bombshell was increasing her dark aura. "Uh, I mean, Hilda."

She smiled triumphantly as she took Baby Beel on his back, "Yes?"

"W-What?"

"You called me just now, damned fool."

_'SHIT! Your language is bad too!'_ He suddenly eyed his family were watching and sweat dropped at the sight, "Oh, that. Actually-" so he stopped midway, "Nothing."

Hilda saw his eyes movement and nodded a little, "Okay. Let's eat breakfast first." It involved her master somehow; maybe she should call Lamia over? That pink haired girl probably knew something about it.

However, their awkward situation was translated differently by his family. His mother was mumbling 'my son had grown up'; his sister was complaining a little, 'what? Just that?', his father was looking confident as ever, 'that's my son.'

Oga sighed as he sat, "This stupid family will never change."

"You're the one to talk." Hilda scoffed quietly, making the later scowled and felt annoyed by her sarcastic remark.

* * *

"So, what do you want to ask me?" Hilda asked him at living room. She was sitting with her master on the sofa as well as Oga-though he gave space for Beel to sit between.

The rest of his family had gone out. Oga's father was going golfing with his colleagues, Oga's mother was going to a reunion of her late high school friends, meanwhile Misaki was going to the movie with her friends.

Oga stared weirdly at Baby Beel and vice versa, before pointed at the baby, "It's about Baby Beel... This morning, well, actually, I think...he talked."

"Dabuuh?"

No one talked for a while, Oga tensed while Hilda silently stared at her master before shouting at him, "Like hell I believe that, dumb fool! Master is just 9 months in human world, how could he?"

"Damn! Hilda, I'm serious!" Oga hissed at her comment. He knew he wasn't a man of brain, but at least that truly happened! He flipped the channel to a deliquent program, or to be exact, 'How To Be a True Deliquent That Even a Fool Could Do'.

"Dabuuh?"

Hilda stared again at her 'child', before taking (forcefully) the remote and changed the TV channel to soap-opera, or to be exact, 'Mother of Deliquents'. "Damn right you are."

"Dhaaammm rhhaaaiih yhuuuu arrrrhh."

Hilda's eyes flinched and turned to Oga, looking pissed, "What did you say, damned fool?"

But the latter was dumb-strucked as well. His face looked, if not, shocked too. "I-it wasn't me! It's Baby Beel!"

Hilda narrowed her eyes to him, but the latter looked annoyed and troubled at the same time, why the hell did he get accused of something he didn't do? Then suddenly, Baby Beel said, "Whaaaah diiiiiiiih yhuuu saaayy, dhaammm fhoooohl?"

"M-Master?"

"B-Baby Beel!"

Both Hilda and Oga looked at each other, surprisingly shocked. Did they hear it right? Or their hell ears had suddenly turned it wrong?

"Dabuuuuh! Dabuh, dabudah!" The said one was just grinning like a normal baby, heck if a normal baby could grin?

However, the apparent mother looked delighted, albeit the very father wasn't too happy to see her sparkling eyes. "O-Oii! Hilda!"

But the said one wasn't hearing his exclamation at all. In fact, she unconsciously said, "Master! Try my name, Hilda, its Hiill-daa."

"Geez! Do you realize that this isn't the time for that?" Oga protested at the merry wet nurse in front of him.

"Hiiiiiiiiillldaaaah? Daabuh?"

Oga felt ignored, "Baby Beel, I told you, stop copying the word she said!"

"Aih! Master! You've grown!" Hilda exclaimed happily before turning to her fake husband, "And shut up your damn mouth, dumb fool!"

"You're the one who should shut up, bitch! Listen to what _I_ should say first!" He hardens his already tough expression.

Watching the whole fighting situation between his 'mother' and his 'father', Beel was in a moment of crying, "Dabuuh! Dabuuh!"

Which later translated as, "Don't fight, both of you!" But it was too late, wasn't it? Since they were electrocuted with Beel's amazing lightning struck, anyway.

* * *

Furuichi sweat dropped as he heard what Oga had said, "So that's why you both are in this state?"

Oga nodded affirmatively at Furuichi's remark while Hilda just stared at the baby, eyes sparkling. When both of their eyes meet each other, there were sparks of fire between them. They looked pissed, even someone as fool as Furuichi could tell.

"So what to do now, milk woman?"

"What did you say, damn fool!"

"It's your damn fault for encourage him to talk this much. Now what should we explain to everyone!"

"Pardon? Isn't it YOUR fault for didn't give Master appropriate lessons? You call yourself parent, bitch?"

The hell baby was in a moment of crying (again) which the electricity's power is supposed to be greater than the previous, "Dabuuh! Dabuuuuuh!"

With this, Oga replied in alarming tone, "O-Oiii, Baby Beel-!" True that he is the baby's contractor, but who could survive the electricity more than 1 nanowatt?

"Stop crying, Master! Please, Hilda begs you to do so!" The wet nurse stated as well. She might indeed the strongest wet nurse in history, but who could survive the electricity more than 1 nanowatt? Oh wait; did I already said that before?

However, the silver haired fool made it worse, by none but his sarcastic remark, "You're one of hella baby, aren't you Beel? For crying out loud!" To countermeasure the effect, both Oga and Hilda reacted quickly and silenced the pedophile by only God knows about it.

The said baby just gave him a thumb in which made the silver haired guy, which his body got beaten so bad because of a 'kind' contribution from that hella baby's parent, sweat dropped and turned his head to see his 'parent' and said, "Dabuuh! Dabuuhda!" Which translated as, "Come on! Shake hands, both of you!"

"...No way in hell!"

"...Master!"

"Uuh, what did he said again?" The silver haired one asked them.

Oga scoffed, "None of your damn business, Furuichi."

Hilda kicked him, "Just shut up your mouth, pedophile."

"Dabuuuh! Dabuuuuh!" Baby Beel looked very mad and turned his head not facing either of them. Which later translated. "Uh-uh! I'm not going to move until you make up each other!"

Oga and Hilda looked at each other and sighed.

Oga hissed while folding his hands, "Geez, mature up a bit, would you! Say sorry and kneel!"

Hilda looked in dismay at his comment, "This is getting nowhere, you damned fool! Do you have no brain?"

"I have! But Furuichi's not!"

"Hey! Why the HELL you've got myself involved at!"

"Shut up, both of you! The first prority is, you Oga!" The latter one flinched, "I only say it once, so listen carefully!"

Suddenly everyone went quiet to hear Hilda, even Baby Beel turned his head to see his blonde haired mother's next action. She turned her head to the side, not looking at the contractor, "Sorry. There, satisfied?"

"Nope." Oga immediately responded, but he continued to stop the soon-to-be World War 3 while scratching his cheek, "But I'm sorry."

Baby Beel's eyes sparkling like there was no end, but Furuichi looked like about to scream, _'I-I'm w-watching a l-love c-comedy...!'_ While out there, far-far away from here, the clouds were forming a cumulonimbus which latter turned into a heavy downfall of rains.

Oga looked uneasy because he kept scratching his cheek. Hilda as well, but in actuality, if you squish it hard, a small smile formed at Hilda's mouth, feeling satisfied. She then stood up, "Oh it's going to rain! Let's call it a day, shall we, Master?"

"Shoot, I almost forget that there's an interesting program that I want to watch." Oga suddenly slapped his head, as he then stood up as well.

Both of them looked behind, at their 'child', while saying at the same time, "Let's go home,

Master."

Baby Beel."

"Dabuuuuh!"

Behind them, the pedophile was saying out loud in his mind, _'I-I'M BEING IGNOOOOOOOREEEEDDD!'_

And hell is well.

* * *

**Okaaaaaaaaay this damn hell short fic is finished. It's kinda hard to put the characters OC, bear the harsh words I've thrown so much~ I always love the pseudo-family so much, hope you guys like it too! Please review it, if you like :3 **


End file.
